Limiting Beliefs are Sabotaging Your Success

Have you been wondering why you can’t seem to make the progress you desire? It seems you take one step forward and two steps backwards. You know what to do, but just can’t seem to do it. The problem is that there is a war going on within your mind. You know what you want to do but you have negative self-limiting beliefs that are fighting your positive desires. This battle is like attempting to fill a pot with a hole in it. It doesn’t matter how much water you have, or how often you try to fill it, the pot will leak and not maintain the level of water that matches the effort you’ve exhausted.

What you believe about yourself, life, and the world impact you more than you realize. How many times have you been told that negative thoughts become self-fulfilling prophecies? It is true. For example, if you believe you will never lose weight, it becomes almost impossible to change eating habits or lifestyle because the new actions are in direct opposition to what you believe.

There are many self-limiting beliefs. Here are a few of the most common:

§  Others are responsible for your current life circumstances. For example, you may have said “They, won’t let me do…” or “if they hadn’t…, I wouldn’t be...”

§  Past failures will be an indicator of future failures

§  There is not enough time to do what you desire

§  You are too old to start anything new

§  There are not enough resources, or you don’t have enough

§  You don’t deserve success

§  You are not worthy to be loved

Overcoming self-limiting beliefs requires you to counter the negative with new and positive belief statements.  

Here are a few other recommendations:

§  Become more self-aware. Ask yourself, “Is what I’m thinking really true?”  If it is not or is based on a self-limiting belief, then it must go

§  Believe in yourself

§  Tell yourself that you are capable of learning new things and improving current skillsets

§  Remind yourself, that there is no shortage of money and that your issue is ideas not resources

§  Believe you are worthy of success

§  Remember that a past failure will not stop you from being successful in the future

The best news is you have the power to change any self-limiting beliefs and consequently change your mind!

Click below if you would like my Self-Limiting Beliefs Worksheet so that you can begin today to make the changes in your life that you desire to see!

Limiting Beliefs Assessment

 

Living an Intentional Life

 Most women have dreams and goals for their lives. The problem is generally, there is not a method to ensure sustained growth and predictable outcomes for producing it. Intentional living means there are deliberate decisions and actions that are taken to produce desired results. It requires making decisions and creating actions to support those decisions.

 Too often people have an idea of what they want their lives to look like but fail to deliberately take actions to achieve what they want. They see the end of the thing and fail to construct the foundation and building blocks to produce what they see. 

However, wishing and hoping will never yield the results of hard work, deliberate action, and determination.

 Strategies for intentional living:

 1.    Understand your purpose and reason for living. It has been said that the two most important days of an individual’s life is the day they were born and the day they discover why they were born. It is imperative that to live intentionally, you must understand your purpose so that all of your decisions and actions align with who you are and what you were created to do.

2.    Write the vision. It’s not enough to have a dream or an idea of where you are going. There is a saying for healthcare professionals, “If it is not documented, it did not happen.” The same is true for many of your dreams and plans. If you do not go through the practice of writing it down, so that you can go back and read it, it will fade and not come to fruition. 

3.    Establish a daily routine. If you were to look at the lives of the most successful people, you will find that they have a daily routine or practice. Whether it is meditation, prayer, affirmations, reading the newspaper, or breathing exercises, the days begins with a set of repeated practices. The practices are as varied as the individual, but the outcome is the same, consistency and productivity.

 4.    Develop healthy and positive mindsets. An intentional life requires mindsets that support growth and productivity. A person with a growth mindset sees possibilities and is not intimidated by personal weaknesses and obstacles. When confronted with something new or unfamiliar, they are not afraid to accept a challenge because they believe it is possible to learn what is necessary to create the change they desire.

5.    Set goals for the key areas of your life. Goals are critical for staying focused and maintaining momentum. These can include personal growth, health, financial, relationship, and career goals. Any aspirations or areas that you want to see happen or make changes in the current direction must have a goal attached.

 6.    Avoid procrastination and distractions. Be intentional with your time because it is the one thing you can never get back. Always be mindful of what you want to accomplish and make every effort to get it done. You can schedule times for activities such as reading emails, taking calls, and surfing the internet or social media.  

 7.    Practice self-care. Your body is your greatest tool and is required for you to do all the great things that you see. Self-care includes physical and emotional health. Always be mindful of what you put in it including food and drugs. Moderation is key. Exercise is key to self-care because it is beneficial for both physical and emotional wellbeing.

 8.    Review your day and plan for tomorrow. Take a few minutes each day to review your progress on your goals. What did you do well, what areas need tweaking or revision? Include key take aways you learned that can be applied to future activities or situations. Write your goals for the next day, so that you will start each new day with intention.   

Intentional living is about choosing the type of person you want to be and creating the life that you desire. This will not happen by accident but will be the direct result of the choices you make and the actions you take. Be intention and create the life of your dreams.

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3 Keys to Stop Self-sabotaging Your Success

We desire success but  despite all of our efforts, it sometimes escapes us. These are the moments that we spend an enormous amount of time attempting to figure out what went wrong. And the truth is that many times we are the reason things did not work. It has been said, the enemy is "the inner me". 

We are sabotaging our own success with what we believe, think, and do. Here are a few immediate steps you can take to stop the vicious cycle of self-sabotage.  

1.     Identify and change your beliefs. 

     What are the beliefs that are hindering your success? For example, if you believe that you're not smart enough, you will limit the risks that you take and will not stretch to become the best version of yourself. This alone will frustrate any attempts you make to be better and do better because you will constantly be fighting the automatic responses in your brain, that say “You are not smart enough.” Develop a positive mindset and avoid limiting beliefs.

 

2.     Avoid negative self-talk.

 

You spend too much time saying negative things to yourself. Eventually, you begin to believe them. Such negative input gives you an incorrect opinion of yourself and your capabilities. Ensure that your self-talk is supportive and positive. Use positive affirmations to counter any negative self-talk.

 

3.     Notice habits and activities that sabotage your success.

 

Think about what you want to be successful at and notice your habits that stand in your way. For example, if you’ve written in your planner a task that was to be done at the start of the day, but instead you check personal emails. The res, which leaves the task delayed or incomplete.  Make a list of those behaviors so that you can address and change them.

 

The good news is the success you desire is on the other side of these small, but huge changes. You have the ability, the will and power to accomplish any goal that you set. Tell yourself today, “I am a smart, creative, productive, successful and I finish everything I start.

Change Happens with Choice

For every change you desire, there’s a choice that needs to be made. As the title implies, change doesn't happen by chance it happens with choice.  We are the sum of all choices that we've made whether they were good choices or not so good.

Therefore, if it you take a look at where you are today, you can see a correlation between where you are and the choices that were made. For example, it you are working as an accountant, you chose to go to school, study and make sacrifices to obtain your degree.  Everyone can look back and see the impact of their choices on their current state and situation. This is true even if we say “it’s complicated”.  For instance, the woman who feels “if it were not for bad luck she wouldn’t have any,” can trace much of the bad luck to choices or decisions on her part.  Let’s say she was fired  from several of her last jobs. Was there additional training needed, that she did not obtain. Maybe, there were attitudes and behaviors that  needed to be shifted or changed and she did not. Either way, there were choices involved.

I cannot forget to mention that failing to make a choice is also choosing.  When you know that there is more and you should be doing more, and you fail to do it—that is choosing to be complacent. If you have dreams that you desire and you’re afraid to step out—you are choosing to put your best life on the shelf. 

We must keep before us our life’s plan: who we are, what we desire and where we are going. In doing so, our choices have to align with and complement that plan. An entrepreneur that chooses to plan, be disciplined, sacrifice and implement will  be successful. Whereas, the one who desires to be an entrepreneur and decides they can just “wing it” will be less likely to have success. They also will not be able to blame anyone else for their lack of accomplishment but can chalk it up to poor choices.

You have the power to change anything that does not fit into your master plan. Choose wisely.

Confidence is Critical

Whether building a business,  applying for a job, or interacting with friends, confidence is an essential factor in your success.  Confidence is believing in yourself or abilities. Your actions and behaviors are often influenced by your confidence level.  For example, if you believe that you are a good athlete, you will probably try a new sport without hesitation. However, if you feel that you are not a good student, you may shy away from anything that requires instruction and learning. Note in the examples, the positive confidence level moves one forward, whereas the low level causes the individual to back up. It becomes a cycle of either positive movement or withdrawal and stagnation. 

When you tell yourself you can or you can’t, you are right either way.  It is what you believe about yourself that makes you successful.  Do not feel that all is lost because you are not confident today. Confidence is a skill that can be developed. One method for developing confidence is using positive affirmations to retrain your self view and image. “I am” statements such as “I am confident” and “I am able to do great things” are excellent for transforming your confidence level. Tell yourself that you are able to do everything that you want to do and have to do to make your business or dream a success. #iambecauseisayiam

Create Something

Create Something.  There is nothing more exiting than the birth of a baby. The delivery room is the most unlikely place for intense joy. There are strangers, equipment, tears and pain but yet the appearance of a baby causes everything else in the room to fade to black, all that is seen is that precious birth that was created.  In the midst of the pain of bringing forth that promise, many moms vow to never do it again.  However, the pain is soon forgotten because of the joy of the birth.

What are you producing? It is the act of creating and bringing forth that gives life and energy.  The first blades of grass, the bud of the rose, and finished picture stir up feelings of hope and excitement. Imagine the designer of a new fragrance seeing the first bottle from the assembly line or the ribbon cutting at the architect’s new building, there is nothing sweeter.  You see the smiles, you hear the cheers, you smell the champagne and you taste the sweetness of success.

If you are feeling burned out and lethargic, it may be due to a lack of production and creativity. Even a body of water that is not flowing becomes stagnant and stinks.  Take a moment to stir up the gift of creativity. As you think of your dream, allow your mind to relax, and roam. Come up with different pathways, alternate answers and new endings. Now use the energy and excitement from the new place to fuel this next phase of the dream.

Manage Your Anger

Anger is one of the most powerful emotions that we experience.  The dictionary defines it as a strong feeling of displeasure aroused by a wrong or injustice. Although it is a normal emotion, there is always the potential that the response can be negative or unhealthy. Many physical and mental health disorders are related to prolonged anger. Therefore, failure to deal with anger in a positive and healthy manner can have major implications. 

Generally, when we mention anger management we are referring to preventing an outburst or the destruction that can be caused by rage. However, today we want to see it a little differently. Instead of simply controlling anger, why not be intentional with how you express it? I recommend using the anger to your benefit.

We have heard it said “send your enemy a thank you card”.  In the same manner, use the emotions to fuel your dream. For example, when you want to pay someone back for mistreating or wronging you, take that energy and pour it into your dream or your business. Ride off of that intense emotion to complete your marketing plan or acquire new investors. If you are angry enough, you can complete advanced degrees. Once you've reached your goal, let it go. Let success be the greatest resolution for your anger!